You are who you think you are

"Who you are is not the reason you don't enjoy success; you’re destiny is hindered by who you think you are not."
Darrnyelle A. Jervey

Who do you say that you are? Who do you think that you are? As you know the saying goes, "you are who you say you are." So who will you be this day? We have a responsibility to be true to ourselves, when we represent ourselves in truth, we will be Incredible.

I remember when I was in the 5th grade. There was the pretty little girl, she was mixed and had long flowing thick, curly wavy hair. She was beautiful and I envied her. For so many reasons I cannot remember, I thought that if I could walk a mile in her shoes, somehow my life would be better. She came from a "good" family...her dad was a judge and her mother an affluent member of society...they had it going on. Even at that age, I shattered my ability to be the best me I could be because I thought that being a carbon copy of her would somehow be better.

How many of us have felt this way? How many of us see someone today and declare that if only we could be like them....

Well, as I have said before, you can only be the best copy of them OR you can be the authentic Incredible you by learning to change your definition of yourself. After all, as a man thinketh so is he Proverbs 23:7

I think that no matter the societal problem a person faces,the result stems from who they think they are. Take the man who abuses his wife, girlfriend, etc. He is strong arming her because he doesn't believe that he exudes strength. He feels that if he controls her, that gives him power but what he is failing to realize is that power starts within...if only he could see himself strong and able to control his situation by being a thermistat and not a thermometer, then he would feel secure in who he is and not have to take strength and power away from someone else..... take a woman in an abusive relationship. She doesn't believe that who she is deserves to be treated better than her current state so she stays and makes excuses for why she is his doormat....

My point is this...you are who you say you are and who you say you are is exactly who others will say that you are....Who do you want others to say that you are? After you answer that question, be sure to ask yourself what it will take to truly be who you want others to say that you are?

As always, here are my tips:

1. Inspect the Incredible - we have to constantly do a self-assessment and to borrow from one of my favorite Michael Jackson songs, we have to start with the "Man in the Mirror.... We've got to ask him to change his ways. If you want to make the world a better place take a look at yourself and make a change."

2. Be Authentic. Honesty truly is the best policy. Be honest with who you are. Like I said earlier you can only be a good copy at best of someone else but if you be who you were created to be, you can excel at that role everytime.

3. Learn to love yourself. To do this, you have to spend time with yourself getting to know your likes and dislikes. Learn to see yourself through the eyes of the Creator. When He made you, he said "It is good."

4. Attract the Incredible. Seek out relationships with people who want the best for you and people who know your worth. Self worth is more valuable than net worth in any portfolio and because of your self worth, your net worth will grow exponentially with people who support and believe in who you are.

5. Do something everyday to increase your self image. Doing something everyday will create a habit and positive habits are what leads to significant growth and change.

6. Be the change you want to see in other people - I guess this goes back to looking at the Man in the Mirror...but be a beacon of light. Marianne Williamson's poem Our Deepest Fear says that when we let our light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same.

7. Fear the fear, but do it anyway. No matter what comes your way, feel the fear but don't let the fear hinder you. Fear is normal as long as it doesn't stop you from achieving. You were only born with two fears but you are afraid of your own shadow....That's not the way it was intended. Get over it but doing it anyway. What is the worst that could happen?

8. Repeat positive life affirmations out loud to yourself in the mirror. This is very important because you will have what you say. So if you speak about it, you will naturally bring it about.

I hope my tips help you this "Walk it Out" Wednesday. It is my sincere hope that I may reflect myself in truth so that I can be a catalyst to invoke Incredible change in your life.

Be Incredible,
Darnyelle


Darnyelle A. Jervey is a national empowerment speaker, author of 5 books and life consultant. She is the CEO of Incredible One Enterprises, LLC. For more information, visit www.darnyelle.com.

Be happy an excerpt from The Incredible You

I love Mary J. Blige’s song “Be Happy.” It is truly all that I believe that you want. Wouldn’t it be great to find the life that is yours? Even when I think of Bobby Darrin and his hit “Don’t Worry, Be Happy,” I have to smile. The time for drama, depression, desperation and drought is over! The time has come for passion, abundance, confidence and expectation. It’s time to be happy.
Happiness is a state of mind but it is so essential to the Incredible You. I think so many people have it wrong; they think that things make them happy. What I know to be true is that being happy is not an end result of getting lots of things. Being happy is the place to start if you want to become the Incredible You. Think about it - when you feel good everything seems to go your way. You may call it being lucky or having a good day. I call it being happy and ultimately fulfilled. When in actuality, the way you feel is the reason for the success you are enjoying at that moment; your mind has allowed you to experience a feeling of euphoria.
It may take you a minute to realize that the success you feel is as a result of your state of mind. But once you do, you will want to strive to always be in your happy place. Happiness, when mastered, will prevent days when you are unhappy. Your outlook on life will be different and you will be able to consistently see the joy in every situation.
When I learned to be happy, so many things in my life changed. You’ve heard the old adage “When life gives you lemons make lemonade?” Well, I took that phrase to heart and started to find a way to make lemonade out of every situation in my life. We choose to allow ourselves to be victims or victors and happiness is a choice. Becoming the Incredible You is a choice. Clearly it is your goal or you would not be reading this book – smile.
Life is full of choices and choosing to be happy is a very good one. Not only do life and death lie in the power of the tongue, but they also lie in the power of the mind. When you choose to be happy, you are choosing a lifetime of happiness and fulfillment that is out of this world.
Want to turn a sad day into a happy one? Pay attention to your thoughts. Like the Bible says, “As a man thinks, so is he.” So if you want to be happy, you must think happiness. I believe that so many of us have an invalid definition of happiness so to be sure, I would like to define it for you.
According to Webster’s New World Dictionary, happiness is having, showing or causing a feeling of great pleasure, contentment or joy; favored by circumstance. I want you to get excited because happiness means that you are favored. As discussed in an earlier principle, expecting unmerited favor in your life is an important part of the Incredible You. I encourage you to expect unmerited happiness and allow the way that you look at the world to shadow all of the experiences that you have while you are here.
Take it from me; I have been a person with a bad attitude. There is nothing enlightened about having a negative outlook on life. In fact, I remember always being miserable and always blaming someone else for my struggles when truly the culprit was me.
I decided to change my destiny by changing my mindset; I decided to be happy. Simply put, I started to look for the “silver lining” in all situations and before I knew it, my glass was half-full and I was optimistic as opposed to the pessimist that I use to be. Every time I noticed myself in a good mood, I captured that moment and stored it in my heart. After a while, I had a bank of good thoughts and feelings to go back to and draw from when I was not having a pleasant experience.
Realize you are in charge of your well being and control it with your thoughts and emotions. So be happy first. Go for it. You deserve the best!
Bottom line: You must believe in the power to be happy. There is nothing more powerful in this life than the power of belief. When you can believe that anything is possible, the Incredible You will be front and center. I love the story of the bumblebee, who according to aerodynamic principles should not be able to fly. But the bumblebee believed in his heart that in order to serve his life function, he was going to have to get around and he did it; he flied away breaking a significant belief barrier.
As a child, I believed that I was supposed to be more than what I was experiencing. That belief in my heart, although it laid dormant for years, was always there inspiring me to be better, stronger and wiser. I believe that nothing happens by mistake and so I had to experience a life of non-belief so that when I started to believe, the power of my own belief and faith would be magnified for me and others. When I started to believe in myself and believe that my dreams were possible and not just figments of my imagination, my life really started. I got a new attitude and in so doing put myself in a position to influence my future. I have consistently said that life is 95% attitude and we get to make a choice every day about how we want that day to go. I decide everyday to live with a full glass and an outlook on life that tells me that I can do anything because I believe that I can. I choose to be happy.
Belief is the most passionate gift in life; it is an illustration in our ability to trust. When what we believe is true and what we believe is possible, it will become a truth and possibility for us. I encourage you again to be happy, the Incredible You deserves it!

If You Understood My Past....

If You Understood My Past, You Would Understand My Praise.....how many of us can make that statement with confidence?

I sure can and that is exactly why I wrote my new book!

Every time I look back over my life, I get caught up in a praise because I can see the places from where God brought me. Just a quick glance over my shoulder and my spirit erupts in praise. You don't know what my praise cost me....

For me, praise is an acronym
P - purposeful passion, persistence, potential and promise
R - rising above obstacles with resilience
A - achieving all my life's dreams with an abundant attitude
I - identifying those hindrances from a life full of blessings
S - strength and self-esteem
E - expecting favor with enthusiasm and experiencing life through eyes of faith

What does your praise stand for?

When you look back over your shoulder, do you get caught in a praise or do you hang your head in shame? Have you been there, done that and gotten a souvenir t-shirt for all of the mistakes you've made. Are you sick and tired of being sick and tired of getting the short end of the "love" stick? Welcome to my world. If You Understand My Past, You Would Understand My Praise is a humorous and vividly authentic memoir about looking for love in all the wrong places until one day, I woke up and realized I was worth more.

Sound familiar?
Trenton and I had a tumultous relationship. I felt that he was all that I deserved because I had made sacrficies to be with him. Finally, it was crystal clear that he wouldn't be able to give me the love I deserved when three months before our wedding he dropped a bomb on me.

This book is based on a true story and all characters are real people whose names have been changed.


Darnyelle A. Jervey is a life coach, motivational speaker and author. She is the founder and CEO of Incredible One Enterprises, which was designed to help you define the Incredible You. You can get more information about her or her literary debut at www.incredibleoneenterprises.com


If people understood your past, would they understand your praise?