Get Somewhere and Sit Down - Darnyelle A. Jervey: Speaker, Coach, Author

When I was little, I was often found in a place I had no business (no surprise, I'm sure) and an adult would always yell, "Darnyelle Antoinette you had better get somewhere and sit down!" Powerful words which are filled with lessons that we should apply to our lives today. I've notice in working with clients from around the country the location may be different but the story is the same: We don't spend enough time "getting somewhere and sitting down."

Have you ever meditated? Have you ever just STOPPED what you were doing and centered yourself?

Maybe you need to. It could change your life. It changed mine

I believe in the power to get quiet and truly tap into your spirit and begin to live and breathe from your heart because it offers an experience that is Incredible! It renews your focus on what truly is important. HINT: It's usually NOT what we think it is before we get somewhere and sit down!

In general, we are way too busy, way too focused on things that don't matter and we spend too much time sweating the small stuff. I invite you to find a quiet place, light a candle, turn on some soft, comforting music and repeat the following phrases:
I Love You. I'm Sorry. Please Forgive Me. Thank You.

I love You - you are talking to yourself. We spend way too much time being overly critical of every step we take and we never stop to celebrate our success and accomplishments. We want others to say these three words but if we don't say them to ourselves, how can we expect others to say them to us? From the self-love you express to yourself, you explore and unleash the power to change mindsets and live dreams.

I'm Sorry - again you are talking to yourself and you are apologizing for not being authentic, for focusing on things that don't matter, for not taking time to tap into your spirit and live from your heart.

Please forgive me - you are talking to the Creator, now that you have apologized to yourself, ask for His forgiveness so that you can be liberated to go forth, refreshed and renewed.

Thank You - in an extreme act of gratitude, you are talking again to the Creator and thanking Him for His sovereignty and for creating you. Abundance is all around us and as I was recently reminded we miss it because we need to be in control. Control is the arch nemesis of abundance, I encourage you to let go and watch the overflow come into your life.

Repeat over and over until a calm settles in your heart. After you've finshed the four phases and you feel a sense of release and a reneweing of your spirit, stay there long enough to enjoy the journey upon which you are about to embark now that you are free to fill your heart with all the abundance it can hold.

Be Incredible,
Coach Darnyelle

Darnyelle A. Jervey is the speaker, coach and author that founded Incredible One Enterprises, a full service empowerment firm committed to imparting skills, strategies and solutions to define and unleash the Incredible in You. For more information about Darnyelle, please visit http://www.incredibleoneenterprises.com

Copyright (c) 2010 Darnyelle A. Jervey All Rights Reerved.

Stop, Drop, LOVE - Darnyelle A. Jervey - Speaker, Coach, Author

I was talking with my mother the other day and she was a little distraught because she felt like she was being pulled in too many directions in the name of love. The coach in me immediately kicked in and I began to ask her direct, probing questions to get to the root of the concern she was feeling as well as to help her work through this occurence so that she could find release. She said, "I just want to help everybody, but it seems like no one wants to help me." I said, mom what do you mean? She said, "there seems to be no boundaries in this thing and I am the one who loses."

How many of you have felt the same way? I understand how you feel. I've been there, done that and gotten the t-shirt. But what I found was that by establishing my worth and what I would do as a result of my worth, I could set boundaries that ensure that interactions with loved ones became a win/win situation.

"But you don't understand, Coach Darnyelle," I can hear you say. But I do understand and that is why I'm writing this blog today.

My mom pricked my spirit because she is one of the most loving women I know. She'd give you the shirt off her back if it would make you smile or feel secure. Most of us women are the same way. I know sometimes we get a bad rep over being too strong, but it is the strength in you that makes it possible for all who come into your space to feel the love that knows no limits. Yet, here I am suggesting that you set some.

For your sanity.

Stop. Drop. Love. It's that simple.

Stop - when you feel taxed and out of control and you feel compelled to say yes because your yes will ensure it gets done effectively. STOP. Take a moment or two or three and reflect on what adding another thing to your plate will do to your plate. Where is your "me" time? How will you get your "Me" time if you consistently do for others before yourself. Now, let me clear, I believe in serving others but I also believe in everything in proper order and perspective.

Drop - drop the rules of engagement for the task being brought to you. Remember, no one can make you feel anxious or out of balance without your consent. Drop the act that you are okay that they are asking you to do something that someone else could do. You may be manipulated to think it can't be done if you don't do it. Don't buy into that, if it is as essential as they claim, someone will rise up to do it.

Love - even when you say "no" or in everything that you do, do it in love. When you live from your heart, it will always be your desire to offer love, kind, life affirming words and challenges into the lives of others. Just because you are saying "no, not this time," doesn't mean that you can't do it in love and maintain the relationship if that is your desire. Most of us take on more tasks in fear - fear that we will somehow lose the relationship or position if we don't act. One question....do you really want it if that's a possibility?

Darnyelle A. Jervey is a certified life coach, professional speaker and author committed to helping women who are struggling to find the balance of their PACE (Passion Abundance Confidence Expectation). As the founder and CEO of Incredible One Enterprises, a full service empowerment firm in Newark, DE, she is more than a motivator, she imparts skills, strategies and solutions to define and unleash the Incredible in you. Recently featured in the January 2010 issue of Black Enterprise Magazine, her Burn the Box Coaching Program is transforming the lives of women nationwide. For more information or to request your FREE 30-minute coaching consultation, please visit http://www.incredibleoneenterprises.com

Copyright (c) 2010 Darnyelle A. Jervey All Rights Reserved

Don't Get It Twisted - Darnyelle A. Jervey, Speaker, Coach, Author

As I began to write this blog and selected the title, the song that immediately popped into my head was Beyonce's "Irreplaceable." In a part of the song, she says "you've got me twisted." Another song I thought of immediately after that was Keith Sweat and Cut Klose's song titled, "Got Me Twisted."

Why does any of that matter. Well today, I want to share tips for those of you who are twisted in some way about who you are, who you are to become and what you were created to do.

When I say twisted, what do I mean? Confused. Bamboozled. Unworthy. Fearful. Unfulfilled. Sad. Existing instead of living. Surviving instead of thriving.

I was at a networking event a few weeks back and I was talking to a gentleman and telling him what I do. He was very intrigued and he asked if I have a lot of clients who are willing to admit that they are twisted or confused on their purpose. I told him yes, I do meet a lot of women who require skills, strategies and solutions to untwist their purpose to give their life meaning.

That really stuck out to me. Many women don't admit their hurt and pain, they suffer in silence because they feel that "nobody knows the trouble I've seen." Another song, guess I'm feeling the music today. The key here - I can stop and dance because I am clear.

What stands out to me more than anything is that so many women as so busy surviving each day and taking care of everyone else, going to work to put food on the table, crying themselves to sleep because they are completely unfulfilled and nobody cares about their needs that they are consistently twisting themselves into knots that are not being untangled so that they can be released to enjoy life.

John 10:10 says that God sent His son that we might have life and have it more abundantly. Please tell me which definition of abundance calls for twisting and entanglements. If I am speaking to your spirit right now, STOP.

Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. Stop. Take a deep breath of integrity and be honest with yourself, you are twisted, conflicted and confused about many things most of which is your purpose. But there's hope. It can change as soon as you let it.

1. Get to a quiet place and repeat these words until you feel a calm and peace overtake you: I'm sorry, please forgive. I Love you. Thank You. You are not only saying these words to yourself, but you are also saying them to the creator of your soul for mismanaging the gift He gave you.

2. Answer this question: Why am I twisted? Unfulfilled? Suffering in silence? - be honest with yourself.

3. Make a Decision to get untwisted. Hire a coach, set up an action plan and get to work. As soon as you make a non-negotiable deision the untwisting begins.

4. Celebrate yourself each day, big or small, celebrate. It's the little things that add up to the unassailable difference.

5. Never look back. Most of our twisting occurs because we focus on the past. As I say, "Stop giving your past permission to speak." If you are in a place that you don't want to be, acting in haste may not resolve it. Build a bridge, make an exit strategy and get to your destiny place.

It may not be easy but I guarantee it will be worth it.

So don't get it twisted, get clear and focus on you. Even on an airplane the flight attendant tells you to secure your mask before helping those traveling with you.

Repreat after me:
I am beautiful. I am God's creation. I was created for a purpose. I was created for abundance. I'm worthy of love, respect and "me" time. I deserve to be fulfilled. I am Incredible. I desire to be clear about who I am and how to live a fulfilled life and I am ready to get what I need to make it a reality and not just words that sound good.

Be Incredible,
Coach Darnyelle

Darnyelle is a speaker, life coach and author committed to helping women who struggle with balancing their PACE develop the skills, strategies and solutions to define and unleash the Incredible within. For more information, or for your free 30 minute coaching consultation, visit www.incredibleoneenterprises.com

Copyright (c) 2010 Darnyelle A. Jervey All Rights Reserved

Where do you live?

About 5 years ago, I had a "come to Jesus," you know what I mean. This occurs when we wake up and confront the issues and obstacles plaguing us from enjoying our lives. I was in a corporate job that I no longer had a desire to do. I was unhappy, overweight. I was in turmoil. But I did something unconsciously. If I had of thought about it, I wouldn't have done it because doing it would have removed the excuses that I had been using as to why I was where I was - sound familiar?

How many of you use excuses as an escape mechanism from facing the issues of your heart? It's just easier to pretend as if they don't exist...

I attended a life changing conference. I mean everything changed. It was cataclysmic, it was as if every single speaker was there for one reason - to facilitate my breakthrough. You see, I had been broken down. I was lonely, I hated my job, I felt like no one cared about me. Truthfully, it was all in my head. Just like it is in yours if you have had these feelings. As a dear friend says, when are you going to get out of your head and into your heart?!

I want you to know that a breakdown can and will become a breakthrough when you make a non-negotiable decision that enough is enough and decide to do something differently.

Non-negotiable.

For me, the first step was attending the conference. How many of you know that if you want to change your situation, you have to change your position. That's right MOVE. Do something different, something you've never done. While I was there, I was forced with looking at myself in the mirror - the proccess I now use with each client that I coach, which I have aptly called "Inspect the Incredible." Sadly, what looked back at me was not cute in the least but what's more, it wasn't authentic. So busy trying to be everything to everybody, I lost myself and I realized that I was not living an authentic life. I was not living from my heart.


Once you know better, you are expected to do better, so I immediately began to make clear and calculated changes to my life. Oddly enough the first step was realizing that I was born Darnyelle for a reason and on purpose. I had to stop trying to be like everyone else so that I could fit in. That revelation - Life Changing. And that revelation led to another and another and another and finally to the commitment to help other women get to the same place where I now reside - Peace, Joy and True, Authentic happiness right now. Not later when my change, or the man or the money comes but NOW.

As a result of that conference I began to seek assistance in changing my life. I found a life coach. I made a commitment to becoming the best me. 5 years later, I am living from my heart and teaching others to do the same. It was a challenging process and yet it has been worth it. And no, it didn't take me 5 years to do it! The bible says 'Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks." I operate fully from a space of love, personal power and conviction to greet each day ready to make a difference in the lives of others.

Now that I've told you my business (smile), I have a question for you: Where do you live? Are you suffering or struggling with lack, low self-esteem, worry, turmoil, strife or worse? When was the last time you smelled the aroma of your heart - your attitude? If you've smelled it, and a pleasant fragrance hasn't greeted your nostrils, are you yet ready to make a change?

If nothing changes, nothing changes. But your address will change when you commit to yourself, do the work necessary to get a new address and live from your heart.

In my own words....

I am a professional speaker, certified life coach, award-winning author and consultant. I work exclusively with women who struggle with identifying their PACE - Purposeful Passion, Attitude of Abundance, Consistent Confidence and Enthusiastic Expectation. My clients desire to experience significant personal & professional growth by eliminating excuses, facilitating change and overcoming adversity in their life and business. I am more than motivation, I impart skills, strategies and solutions to define and unleash the Incredible in you. For more information, visit http://www.incredibleoneenterprises.com

Copyright (c) 2010 Darnyelle A. Jervey All Rights Reserved.